I created this blog about 2 years ago… this will be the first thing I’ve published since. What is my muse? This:
Today I sat in a meeting with co-workers, and we were asked a simple 3-part question: Where have you seen success, what has been challenging, and where could you use support?” I felt anxiety building up as I thought about how to answer, and when it was finally my turn the most I could get out respectably before I burst into tears was a short bible verse from the gospel of John.
I can imagine that God has been patiently waiting for me to get in tune enough with Him to figure some of these things out. I can just imagine God thinking to himself, “BE QUIET, LaToya, so that I can speak to you.” I also believe that I have filled my head and heart with so many other things that God’s word has not been able to get through. This has been happening over a season; I have felt productive because I have remained busy, gotten work done, heck I even got a promotion at work in the past few months. I have been silly and small minded enough to believe that I was fully living into God’s purpose for me; I have not. See I am realizing, slowly, but surely now, that God’s plans for me are way bigger than anything I have ever dreamed up for myself. This realization scares me! I have grown accustomed to this resistance in my spirit, I believe that God is breaking that out of me, and it hurts. It hurts to die to yourself, and the tears come because the Spirit is testifying to my spirit that I belong to God. My life belongs to Him, my plans, my gifts, my talents, my success and my short comings, they ALL belong to God. It is hard to let go and admit that. It hurts my pride to admit that what I am currently doing, is not enough, and doesn’t measure up to what God has for me.
Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt. Not sure how to participate? Here are the steps to get started. (Prompt idea courtesy of arrowtarget.)